这是一个创建于 3139 天前的主题，其中的信息可能已经有所发展或是发生改变。
Tday, a man reminded me five times how much of a "nice guy" he was during our first conversation, saying also that I seem the sort to date the "bad guys" because I looked sweet and innocent. Then, without waiting for me to say something, he sighed and walked away, muttering that he always finished last. FML
相亲，对面的男的一直不停的提醒我他是一个多么好的人，但是又说我看起来应该是喜欢“坏人”的类型，因为我看起来很天真，然后在我还没来得及说任何事情之前他就走开了，一边走还一边喃喃自语“又失败了”。 FML
Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML
我女朋友做长途车来看我，接到她的时候我抱起来转了一圈儿，嗯，早上吃的草莓味的沙拉， -- 她晕车了，全吐我身上了。 FML
Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML
楼主在一家甜甜圈工作，我们每年都会举行一个“海盗日”的活动，如果你打扮的像一个海盗，我们将会提供免费的甜甜圈。今天有一个带着一只眼罩的顾客走了进来，于是楼主就上前跟人说“先生，如果你想要免费的甜甜圈，你需要打扮的更好些”，结果人家以看傻子的眼神看着我然后摘下眼罩，人家的眼睛是真的坏了。 FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
我儿子今天开车撞倒了一棵树，一根路灯，最后撞坏了我邻居的车，这个让我很恼火，但是更让我恼火的是这个车是我刚提回来的，最让我恼火的是我还得说是我开的，因为的孩子压根儿没有驾照。 FML
Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML
游完泳之后去淋浴间冲澡，结果我的侄女不知道啥时候藏在哪儿了，然后她兴奋地大喊“我看到姑姑的奶子了”，但是这不是高潮，高潮是我的侄女跟我的侄子炫耀这事儿，然后我的侄子哭了，因为他没有看到我的奶子。 FML
Today, I felt a tug （ n. 拖船；拖曳；苦干） on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
被小偷套路了，今天走着走着，突然感觉有人碰了一下我的背包，然后我就发觉钱包不见了，然后我旁边一哥们就指着一个正在急匆匆下楼梯的哥们说“那个小偷偷了你的钱包”，于是我就去追那个“小偷”了，当然了，结果估计你也想到了，就是这个给我指小偷的人偷走了我的钱包。 FML
原文地址： http://www.shitmylife.cn/subject/info/28
相亲，对面的男的一直不停的提醒我他是一个多么好的人，但是又说我看起来应该是喜欢“坏人”的类型，因为我看起来很天真，然后在我还没来得及说任何事情之前他就走开了，一边走还一边喃喃自语“又失败了”。 FML
Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML
我女朋友做长途车来看我，接到她的时候我抱起来转了一圈儿，嗯，早上吃的草莓味的沙拉， -- 她晕车了，全吐我身上了。 FML
Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML
楼主在一家甜甜圈工作，我们每年都会举行一个“海盗日”的活动，如果你打扮的像一个海盗，我们将会提供免费的甜甜圈。今天有一个带着一只眼罩的顾客走了进来，于是楼主就上前跟人说“先生，如果你想要免费的甜甜圈，你需要打扮的更好些”，结果人家以看傻子的眼神看着我然后摘下眼罩，人家的眼睛是真的坏了。 FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
我儿子今天开车撞倒了一棵树，一根路灯，最后撞坏了我邻居的车，这个让我很恼火，但是更让我恼火的是这个车是我刚提回来的，最让我恼火的是我还得说是我开的，因为的孩子压根儿没有驾照。 FML
Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML
游完泳之后去淋浴间冲澡，结果我的侄女不知道啥时候藏在哪儿了，然后她兴奋地大喊“我看到姑姑的奶子了”，但是这不是高潮，高潮是我的侄女跟我的侄子炫耀这事儿，然后我的侄子哭了，因为他没有看到我的奶子。 FML
Today, I felt a tug （ n. 拖船；拖曳；苦干） on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
被小偷套路了，今天走着走着，突然感觉有人碰了一下我的背包，然后我就发觉钱包不见了，然后我旁边一哥们就指着一个正在急匆匆下楼梯的哥们说“那个小偷偷了你的钱包”，于是我就去追那个“小偷”了，当然了，结果估计你也想到了，就是这个给我指小偷的人偷走了我的钱包。 FML
原文地址： http://www.shitmylife.cn/subject/info/28
 | 1 edwardaa 2017-04-06 21:43:17 +08:00 via iPhone 好漂亮的主题 |
 | 2 wenbindong1984 OP @edwardaa 确定么，确定么，我去，我做的哎，兄弟你是第一个觉着漂亮的，我是一个纯粹的后端 |
| 3 edwardaa 2017-04-07 22:42:30 +08:00 @wenbindong1984 手机上 Safari 看着挺好的，但是现在 Mac 上 Safari 再一看就瞎眼了。。。 |
| 4 wenbindong1984 OP @edwardaa 额， bootstrap 做的，我测试一下 |
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